I realized this past weekend I really suck at talking about feelings, and expressing them and only when I am in a vulnerable state of mind does it even show or do I even become in touch with them. Like I have them but I don't express them. That's definitely something I need to work on, and I have been trying for so long, yet I don't know what keeps the block still. It's dumb and annoying because the people that mean the most to me don't always see that and I don't mean to do that to them. They know, but I forget people like to hear it too. It's not even selfish it makes sense to me, but still. Last night showed me that, granted I was not sober haha butttt hey I guess shit like that happens for a reason so that you grow a little and despite the hot mess you may your feelings are 100% there and shown, granted I wish it would have been different. Anyways, last night was a lot of fun but also an eye opener and I guess a stepping stone. SO I will take it as is and learn from it.